A Puffin Predicament
by Sadik
Summary: Norway transforms Denmark into a puffin and gives him to Iceland. Later, Iceland gets lost. He begins feeling hungry, but all he has with him is the puffin...


_A/N: Well, in my headcanon Iceland's puffins are his emergency rations. So this fic was born through a discussion with my sister XD I posted this on LJ yesterday, and got a bit of nice feedback, so I thought I might as well post it here XD_

_---------_

"Denmark, this is the absolute last time. I've told you before, and I'm tired of repeating myself." Denmark looks at the smaller man in terror, expecting the worst. "I think it's about time I taught you a lesson." At this moment, a strange green blob starts taking shape behind Norway's back. Denmark's face becomes panic stricken, a stark contrast to Norway's, as always, deadpan expression.

Denmark tries fleeing, but it is far too late. Norway points his arm, and with only a small pop as air rushes in, all that remains is a small puffin in the outfit once occupied by Denmark.  
"Moo?"

--

"Iceland, I heard that your last puffin has gone missing, so I brought you a new one." Norway passes the small black and white bird over to Iceland.

"Oh, thanks. I was meaning to get a replacement, but I hadn't had the chance yet." Iceland happily takes the puffin under his arm.

"I thought I told you to call me older brother." Norway glares at Iceland, and satisfied that he seems to have left enough of an impression, apparent from Iceland's staring at the ground intently, he takes his leave.  
Once Norway is out of sight (and hearing, too, Iceland can only hope. Although with all his fairy spies, who could ever be sure?), Iceland begins to examine the puffin. It is a rather rare occasion that Norway ever gives him anything, and he is slightly suspicious. He pokes and prods it, checks it for signs of disease, and all seems fine. Its head appears to be a bit yellower than perhaps it should, but that could just be the light. Satisfied, Iceland places the puffin on his head and begins going about his normal routines.

"Moo!" An exclamation from the puffin, almost as if it is trying to speak. But that's ridiculous, puffins don't talk.

--

Moo? All he can say is moo? He sounds so stupid. Like a cow. A stupid cow. Denmark, in his new puffin body, feels like crying. But of course, being a puffin, he can't. He contents himself to mooing sadly. Iceland, though, has no inkling that there is anything whatsoever wrong with the puffin now resting on his head.

--

Days pass. A few remark on Denmark's long absence, but this is not the first time he's disappeared. Perhaps he decided to go rediscover his Viking past, taking a longboat out to who knows where. Or perhaps he is off despairing in some hidden corner, once again spurned by Norway. Who can know, with such a character as Denmark.

--

Iceland is getting hungry. He isn't sure why, but he decided to go on a long walk, and managed to get lost. He is now wandering around some forest. He's sure that if he wanders long enough, he'll eventually make his way out. But if he dies of starvation first, that knowledge really won't do him much good. Hmm... What to do, what to do. He rather conveniently finds a clearing where some idiot tourists seem to have left behind all manner of garbage. Well, though normally he would chastise whoever it was, now he is hungry, and this seems to be just what he needs.

He collects wood and carefully starts a fire. Wouldn't do to burn down the forest. Next he fills a pot with water from a stream he finds running nearby. Hastily rigging up a rack from which to hang the pot, he waits for it to boil. He spies some plants he knows are edible, and grabs them.

When the water begins to boil, he throws the plants in. Finally, he goes for the main course. Slowly, so as not to startle it, he grabs the puffin from his head. Surprised, it lets out a small moo of protest. However, Iceland does not let it escape. He is far too hungry for that. Quickly he places it in the pot and holds the lid down tightly. While it may be best to kill it before cooking it, he can't quite bring himself to do that. For a while, he can hear frantic struggling with a few moos punctuating, but then all is quiet. Dinner will soon be ready.

--

_I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. As a puffin, eaten by my younger brother._ Denmark (as a puffin) is frantic. This was certainly not how he had imagined his demise. Maybe he'd have been murdered by Norway or Sweden eventually (he certainly seemed to do enough to warrant that), but not like this! _Damn you, Norway, damn you._

The heat is getting more intense. Denmark knows he probably won't last much longer. Ah, how ironic, that he, who had found Iceland when he was small and taken care of the brat, is now about to be eaten by the very same aforementioned child.

He feels his consciousness slipping, seeping away with the bubbles floating up around him and breaking through the water's surface. Ah, if only he could be like that, floating around... He flaps his wings for what feels like the last time, and lets out a plaintive "Moo". He can barely even feel his wings anymore. And his voice sounds funny, too...

--

Iceland stares at the pot in wonder. It appears to be shaking, and he can barely keep the lid down. In fact, it seems about to explode, so he hurriedly lets go and takes a few steps back. And not a moment too soon. The lid bursts upwards, spewing liquid everywhere. But no puffin. Instead, amid the cloud of raining water, a completely naked Denmark is standing. He wobbles a moment before keeling over.

--

"Hmph. I thought for sure I'd taken care of you for good this time." Denmark feels himself being drawn towards consciousness. Norway's voice being the first thing he hears is not very comforting. He tries to go back to sleep, but now he can feel his raw skin, as if it had been burned all over. How had that happened? Finally he snaps completely from his daze, and bow he remembers. He had just nearly become Iceland's dinner up in that forest. Norway, seemingly unaware that Denmark has awoken, continues.

"And now I have to take care of you because no one else wants to be near you. I don't even have the power right now to do anything very nasty to you." Norway sighs.

Denmark slowly reaches an arm up to caress Norway's cheek. "You don't really want me dead, do you? If I actually died, you'd be sad, huh?"

All this earns him, however, is a stinging slap to his (already sore) cheek. Ah, the pain of love.

------

_End note: Hope you enjoyed it, any reviews would be very much loved :"D_


End file.
